Choices, choices

Finishing a novel, I'm learning, is kind of like tending a garden. It's never really done until harvest. In the case of novels, "harvest" refers to seeing it on the bookshelves at Borders and Barnes & Noble. Or, in the case of Portland writers, Powell's.

Lying in Judgment, for good or for ill, is not yet at the point of harvest. Which means, there may be plenty of spade work left.

The story, for those of you who don't know, is about a Portland man (Peter Robertson) who serves on the jury of a murder trial - for, as it turns out, the murder that he committed.

After confirming that his wife was cheating on him, Peter followed and - in a moment of uncontrolled rage - killed the wrong man. Meanwhile his wife left him, his mom suffers a debilitating stroke, and his best friend and employee is accused of sexual harassment. The trial offers an opportunity to put at least the legal risk behind him by convicting the innocent defendant, who, it turns out, had plenty of motive to kill the actual victim.

Agents and readers alike have commented favorably on the compelling nature of the book's premise, the interesting twists and turns in the plot, and the tightness of the writing. But a few things have kept it from selling. Tops on that list is that it's hard to root for a main character who's a murderer - and who is trying to convict someone else of his crime. Those are, unfortunately, core drivers of the story.

However, recently a few kind readers - one an agent - provided some useful feedback, which has led to some ideas for revision of the story to help address those issues. I'm incubating a few of them. To wit:

- Length. Publishers, I am told, will not consider a book from a first-time author exceeding 90,000 words. After countless round of trimming, LiJ is at 93,500. Where to cut? The trial, I am told. Too much courtroom loses the reader.

- If Peter's problem is that he's rooting for conviction, maybe he should instead argue for acquittal. That makes him more likable, but would it take too much away from the narrative tension? Also this is more than a tweak - the entire second half of the novel would have to be rewritten.

- Maybe Peter needs a foil. There's nobody in the story who is a demonstrably worse character than him. His friend Frankie could serve that purpose. Perhaps he needs to be guilty - and obviously so - of that harassment? Peter's continued friendship of him would show loyalty, and hence greater likability, plus he'd seem more likable by comparison.

I continue to tighten the prose and work on sharpening Peter's voice, but those are easy chores compared to the changes that these very interesting suggestions would require.

What do you think? What would help improve the story AND help improve its chances of being published?