Blog is moving

After several years on blogspot - admittedly, not very actively - I have decided to move my blogs to my new website. The new strategy allows me to keep my blogs integrated with the rest of my online content.

Check it out on http://www.garycorbinwriting.com... and please, subscribe!

Going out on a limb

And now for something completely off-topic...

My picks for the 2010-2011 Bowl Games:

BOWL Teams My Pick

NEW MEXICO BOWL Brigham Young vs. UTEP* -- BYU

HUMANITARIAN BOWL Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State* -- Fresno State

NEW ORLEANS BOWL Ohio vs. Troy* -- Ohio

BEEF 'O' BRADY'S BOWL Southern Miss vs. Louisville* -- Southern Miss

MAACO BOWL LAS VEGAS No. 19 Utah vs. No. 10 Boise State* -- Boise State

SDCCU POINSETTIA BOWL Navy at San Diego State -- SD State

HAWAII BOWL No. 24 Hawaii vs. Tulsa* -- Hawaii

LITTLE CAESARS BOWL Florida International vs. Toledo* -- Toledo

INDEPENDENCE BOWL Air Force vs. Georgia Tech* -- Air Force

CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL No. 22 West Virginia vs. North Carolina State* -- West Virginia

INSIGHT BOWL No. 12 Missouri vs. Iowa* -- Missouri

MILITARY BOWL East Carolina vs. Maryland* -- Maryland

TEXAS BOWL Illinois vs. Baylor* -- Illinois

ALAMO BOWL No. 14 Oklahoma State vs. Arizona* -- OK State

ARMED FORCES BOWL Army at Southern Methodist -- So Meth

PINSTRIPE BOWL Kansas State vs. Syracuse* -- KS State

MUSIC CITY BOWL North Carolina vs. Tennessee* -- Tennessee

HOLIDAY BOWL No. 18 Nebraska vs. Washington* -- Nebraska

MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL South Florida vs. Clemson* -- Clemson

SUN BOWL Notre Dame vs. Miami (FL)* -- Miami

LIBERTY BOWL Georgia vs. No. 25 UCF* -- UCF

Chick-fil-A BOWL No. 20 South Carolina vs. No. 23 Florida State* -- South Carolina

TICKETCITY BOWL Northwestern vs. Texas Tech* -- Texas Tech

CAPITAL ONE BOWL No. 16 Alabama vs. No. 9 Michigan State* -- Alabama

OUTBACK BOWL Florida vs. Penn State* -- Florida

GATOR BOWL No. 21 Mississippi State vs. Michigan* -- Miss St

ROSE BOWL No. 5 Wisconsin vs. No. 3 TCU* -- TCU

FIESTA BOWL Connecticut vs. No. 7 Oklahoma* -- Oklahoma

ORANGE BOWL No. 4 Stanford vs. No. 13 Virginia Tech* -- Stanford

SUGAR BOWL No. 6 Ohio State vs. No. 8 Arkansas* -- Arkansas

GODADDY.com BOWL Middle Tennessee vs. Miami (OH)* -- Miami OH

COTTON BOWL No. 11 LSU vs. No. 17 Texas A&M* -- LSU

COMPASS BOWL Pittsburgh vs. Kentucky* -- Kentucky

FIGHT HUNGER BOWL No. 15 Nevada vs. Boston College* -- Nevada

BCS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME No. 2 Oregon vs. No. 1 Auburn* -- Oregon

Editing Tips for Self-publishers #13: Avoid Rhetorical Questions

Sometimes writers want their reader to know that their point of view character is unsure or undecided about something. In an attempt to avoid simply TELLING that to the reader, they try to SHOW it by stating the question directly to the reader—in effect, asking the reader a rhetorical question. Such as:

Example 13.a

“What did you have for dinner?” Ellen asked.

Sweat crawled down the back of John’s neck. Did she suspect him? Could she smell the liquor on his breath over his breath mints?

Unfortunately, this strategy solves the initial problem by creating a different one. The reader’s natural reaction when confronted with a question is to answer it. That takes the reader out of the story and gives the reader something else to think about. A strong enough question could even distract the reader to the point of not reading, at least for a while—something no writer wants. A weak question, by contrast, is simply that—weak. That’s even worse.

A better strategy is to SHOW the reader the character’s ambivalence using declarative statements that reveal the character’s attitude—fear, indecision, confusion, etc. For example:

Example 13.b

“What did you have for dinner?” Ellen asked.

Sweat crawled down the back of John’s neck. Damn, she must suspect something. He turned away and cupped his hand over his mouth, forcing a cough. Sweet minty aromas invaded his nose. He couldn’t smell alcohol, but one can never detect one’s own.

Download all 13 tips here!

Self-editing tip #5: Avoid the "Simultaneity Syndrome"

Often writers, struggling to pack action into a scene, toss as much action into a single sentence as possible by telling us that, essentially, two things happened at once: “as this happened, that happened.” I call this the “X as Y” problem or, to be consistent in my nomenclature, the “Simultaneity Syndrome.” For example:

Example 5.a

Gravel clattered the underside of the Impala as Peter, too stunned to react, continued to press the accelerator.

Two problems:

* The “X as Y” form makes the reader work too hard to manage the sequence of events in his head. The reader has to hold two simultaneous, often unrelated actions in his head and, at the same time, figure out the main thrust of the action. Remember the rules of basic writing: one sentence for one idea. In Example 5.a, what’s the most important thing that’s happening – the glass clattering under the Impala, or Peter stomping on the accelerator?
* It also implies a simultaneity that is often unnecessary or impossible to achieve. Wouldn’t Peter’s reaction follow the stimulus – glass clattering under the Impala? For example:

Example 5.b

Gravel clattered the underside of the Impala. Peter, too stunned to react, continued to press the accelerator.

Even when the simultaneity is believable, it is often implied already in context, and it’s simpler, easier reading without. Often the “X as Y” construct forces the writer to add unnecessary text such as dialog tags or transitions that just slow down the reader. For example, compare 5.c to 5.d:

Example 5.c

“You don’t want to know,” Betsy said as she spooned potatoes onto their plates. “It’s too disgusting a topic for the dinner table.”


Example 5.d

“You don’t want to know.” Betsy spooned potatoes onto their plates. “It’s too disgusting a topic for the dinner table.”

Do we need to be told that Betsy is talking and spooning potatoes at the same time? Does anyone not understand that from the simpler, cleaner example in 5.d?

There are times when this construct works. Sometimes you really do want to convey simultaneous actions, and that simultaneity is important. But use it sparingly. Overuse kills the power it can have with occasional use.

Self-editing for the self-publishing writer

Over the past several years, I've joined critique ("crit") groups, on-line crit exchanges, or simply traded work and crits with various writers. In the process and with the help of several good books and articles I've learned a ton about writing and, perhaps more importantly, self-editing.

Self-editing may be one of the hardest skills to master in the writing business. After over twenty-five years of being paid to write (and nearly twice as long writing for my own enjoyment – ouch), I still haven't come close.

Yet I see books and articles published with writing errors ranging from the subtle to the egregious – errors that cause manuscripts of less well-known writers to take swan dives into the slush pile of rejection. Some good works go unpublished because the writer failed to recognize their writing tics that deaden prose, distract readers or simply fail to hold a reader's attention.

Too frequently, rejections take the form of "great idea, but I didn't absolutely fall in love with your writing" or "I can't take this to market right now" – something to that effect. Sometimes authors, frustrated with these vague excuses and agents' and editors' apparent timidity, jump into self-publishing, determined to show the idiots in the publishing world what they're missing.

In both cases, manuscripts go out to agents and editors, and books go to print, before they're ready.

Too often, it's not what the agents and editors are missing that is the problem. It's what the book is missing: editing.

Not good writing. Good writers get rejections all the time. Yes, good writers. People that:

• have written a good story with strong characters and an interesting story arc
  
• want to get their story published, either by a traditional publishing house or though a self-publishing channel
  
• write in an active voice as much as possible
  
• do not have serious problems with grammar, spelling, syntax, sentence and paragraph construction, and noun/verb agreement
  
• SHOW rather than TELL
  
• avoid clichés and find fresh ways to tell their stories
  

But…

• Their manuscripts aren't being snapped up by agents and editors.
  
• Their self-published book with its fascinating characters, great plot twists and gorgeous layout … isn't selling.
  

There's one other thing most of us in this situation have in common: we edit our own work.

Earlier this summer, I compiled a list of self-editing tips to address the problems I see good writers making all the time. I put the list up for a nominal fee on my website (http://bit.ly/d9zA5b) and meanwhile have been dripping the tips out one at a time to entice the more patient among us to keep checking out the page.

Then it occurred to me: why not post them here, too?

So, that's what's going to happen. Whenever a new tip is posted on the website, you'll see it here, too. (And the full list will still be available for download on the website.)

Here's this week's.

 

1. Avoid Rhetorical Questions
   

Sometimes writers want their reader to know that their point of view character is unsure or undecided about something. In an attempt to avoid simply TELLING that to the reader, they try to SHOW it by stating the question directly to the reader—in effect, asking the reader a rhetorical question. Such as:

 
 

 Unfortunately, this strategy solves the initial problem by creating a different one. The reader's natural reaction when confronted with a question is to answer it. That takes the reader out of the story and gives the reader something else to think about. A strong enough question could even distract the reader to the point of not reading, at least for a while—something no writer wants. A weak question, by contrast, is simply that—weak. That's even worse.

 A better strategy is to SHOW the reader that the character's ambivalence using declarative statements that reveal the character's attitude—fear, indecision, confusion, etc. For example:

 
 

Change of Strategies

Some months ago I changed strategies with respect to marketing myself as a writer. It appears to be working. At least, there are a few signs of success recently.

The change in strategy actually involved three major shifts in emphasis. First I changed which medium would command my focus – from novels to plays:

• In January, "Happy Anniversary," a three-act comedy about a couple who have dinner on the first, fifth, and tenth anniversaries of their divorce, was stage-read (with costumes and blocking) as part of the Fertile Ground Festival of New Works, January 30, 2010 at the Gerding Theater at the Portland Armory.
  
• In June, "PS, I Love Your Daughter" opened the CoHo Theater's "World Premier Summer" Play Festival. We received positive reviews and pre-stage publicity from The Oregonian, The Columbian (Vancouver, WA), the Willamette Weekly, the Vancouver (WA) Voice, and Portland Mercury, among others. It was a fantastic experience.
  
• Last weekend, "The Jumper," a one-act comedy about a woman reluctantly considering suicide, was written and performed as part of the "24 Hour Plays Festival" at CoHo Theater in Portland. Another amazing experience.
  
• Soon, "Mama Versus the Mob," a murder mystery dinner theater spoof in which the gangsters' wives and girlfriends try to take over Al Capone's mob, will be staged as a private show this October by Magenta Theater in Vancouver, WA.
  

 

Second, within the novel realm, I changed which product would take the lead, from the legal thriller Lying in Judgment to the romantic suspense novel The Mountain Man's Dog. This has already yielded some positive results. First, I have a manuscript ready to market to agents and editors, free of the issues plaguing the first novel. The response so far has been favorable: three agents want to see it and an editor/publisher has already requested pages after a follow-up email subsequent to meeting at the Willamette Writers Conference. All now have pages and I'm in their queues.

As a second benefit, I learned some new strategies while writing and revising that novel that I can apply to other stories, including Lying in Judgment. I've begun a new revision of LiJ that I think will make it a stronger and more marketable book. Of course I also have ideas for other stories, including a sequel to MMD should that story gain some traction in the publishing world.

Third, I've begun to shift from a business focused primarily on writing services more towards a writing products business. I recently entered the world of E-business on my website, with a downloadable document chock-full of writing tips called "Write Better Right Now: Fixing Mistakes Made by Good Writers." As the name (hopefully) implies, it's a set of strategies to help writers locate and fix subtle weaknesses in otherwise good text. It's designed for writers pursuing publication in either the traditional or (especially) self-published world.

I say "especially" because most self-published works – at least the ones I've seen – need much stronger editing. One key strength of the traditional publishing world is that many people review a manuscript before it goes to print. Each of those people is good at something different – writing, editing, layout, cover art – and (most important) each brings a fresh perspective to the text. Self-published writers too often try to edit their own work – and as almost any writer can tell you, you can't edit your own work. Not well, anyway.

I plan to follow up on this initiative in two ways. One, I'm trying to generate interest in it by showing bits and pieces (sample tips) on my website (http://www.garycorbinwriting.com/index_files/EditingTips.htm), and letting people know the tips (and file) are there.

Second, I plan more downloadable tools, sometimes for free and sometimes for money. Check out my site's Resources page ((http://www.garycorbinwriting.com/index_files/resources.htm) if you're interested in freebies already available.

And now… back to writing.

Advances in Publishing

Some time ago I wrote about my shift in strategy aimed at getting my first novel published. The shift was to change which novel to pitch. Happily, I have progress to report.

For four years, Lying in Judgment, the story of a man serving on the jury for the trial of the murder he committed, endured rejections from agents of this sort: "Too tough of a market to sell such an unsympathetic main character." Or, "First novels need to be shorter – publishers are loathe to risk even an extra cent for a first time author." Agents almost universally loved the premise and writing, but didn't feel people would root for an admitted murderer, at least not for long. Or it suffered from the bane of courtroom dramas, the "talking heads" syndrome – and I don't mean "Psycho Killer," either.

The Mountain Man's Dog (title under reconsideration, suggestions from readers welcome) took its place at the top of my pitch list. MMD tells the story of backwoods loner Lehigh Carter, a man who fears dogs and women, having been bitten by both. To his chagrin he gets cornered into adopting one (a stray dog) by the other (a former fiancée – and yes, I was tempted to say "stray woman") – Stacy, the gorgeous daughter of gubernatorial candidate Senator George McBride. Daddy disapproves of his daughter's interest in Lehigh, a "hayseed" in his opinion, especially after Lehigh stumbles across one of McBride's illegal campaign fund-raising transactions, putting the old pol's peaking career at risk. As Stacy and Lehigh grow closer, McBride gets more nervous. Paul van Paten, his campaign treasurer and Stacy's most recent man-left-standing, moves aggressively to ruin Lehigh. Arson, dog-napping, death threats, and murder attempts send Lehigh on the run. The local police force, solidly in McBride's pocket, give chase. With dogs.

I submitted this story to three forums for feedback. On The Critique Circle, reviews of the first two chapters pointed out a score of minor issues, but happily none of the major ones confronting LiJ. Readers found the main characters likable and believable, i.e., very sympathetic. It's nearly 30,000 words shorter, and has a better balance of action and dialog.

The second site is CreateSpace, a self-publishing forum run by Amazon.com. Only the first chapter appeared there, but again the critics (other writers) liked the characters, voice, narrative, and premise.

The third site was actually a competition – the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. Ten thousand entries have been narrowed to 500 quarterfinalists – 250 each in General Fiction and Young Adult Fiction, based on the pitch and first chapter. My pitch was a bit weak – I slammed one together at the last minute – but the premise apparently carried it forward. My first chapter, by all accounts, is very strong, and is available in two places:

• On Amazon.Com – where customers can also submit a review of the story (please do this!) so far. Amazon's version is in Kindle Reader format. If you don't have a Kindle, you can download one for free for Windows, Mac, iPhone, or Blackberry from Amazon. Note that all 500 quarterfinalists' entries can be downloaded – free!
  
• On my website – in PDF format.
  

So far it's gotten two reviews from Amazon readers, both positive, and viewable from the Amazon link above.

Over the next month, judges will narrow the list to 50 semifinalists in each category, based on the entire manuscript. At that point, entrants receive full manuscript critiques.

From those 50, judges will choose three finalists in each category (YA and General Fiction). Then readers like you take over to choose the final winner in each category. The overall winners get a $15,000 publishing contract. A long shot, but an exciting one.

I also pitched the story to an agent, who's interested, but she advised: Send it when it's ready. To me, that means: once I've processed all of the feedback and incorporated the necessary revisions into the story. Having the luxury of time and this agent's patience, I'm going to wait until my run at ABNA is done.

I'll keep you posted.